It’s amazing how closed-minded many newcomers to AA are based on their past experiences with religion or somewhat vague with no real daily practice or moral compass instilled through their family of origin, or with church leader, or school counselor.
It is at this early step that an individual’s belief systems come into the light. Are my beliefs truly my own or have they been installed by others’ parroted beliefs. Is there no real anchor in the good orderly direction of those who possess a clear understanding seeking God? How do I solve finding relief in all areas of life?
A list with two columns of insane versus sane behaviors–helps draw the distinction between instincts gone awry with the insanity of an active alcoholic–as compared to the temperance, tolerance, and love of a sober person being aware of the effect they have on others.
A big blank spot I had with how I treated my family was as simple as not showing up. Being late, than never, for dinner, for weddings, were two of my biggest defects of self-centered behavior. I was “too busy” to get out the door.
Self-Pity and victimhood are very common with alcoholics. “You’d drink too if you had the boss, job, spouse that I have.” It took me several years to realize what a loser I was when I complained about how dumb my boss was. Why would I keep a job with such bad leadership and horrible co-workers?
Self-Forgiveness isn’t really in the wheelhouse of an alcoholic or drug-addict. The qualities of honesty and promptness are usually long forgotten. There is such a new path to walk in this crisis of accepting life on life terms, and to hear the inner talk turn into an opportunity of hope with new friends.
The Dao of Doug: A Bus Driver's Perspective 