We’ve Been Waiting an Hour

“Where the hell have you been?”

a) “The pizza delivery boy was late and apologized, so I got a free pizza and ate it all at the terminal. You don’t expect me to wolf it all down in five minutes, do you? I am not allowed to use my phone while I am driving, so I had to call my order in after I got to the end.”

b) “The brakes failed, and I had to wait for the shop after filling out an accident report for the three beamers I took out rolling down Russian Hill. The shop wanted me to fill the bus up with as many people as possible to see if the brakes would hold.”

c) “I did some shopping at Fisherman’s Wharf and don’t want you to rain on my parade. Wait here for the next bus right behind me so I can pick up the folks at the next stop. Since you’ve waited an hour already, another fifteen minutes is nothing.”

d) “I’m terribly sorry for this delay. I am in a hurry with a triple load and don’t have time to argue with you. You can get on the next bus right behind me.” Shut the door and drive off.

The correct answer is, of course, b). This gains sympathy from the angry mob and gives an accurate view of the equipment and service. Also, it hints that affluent owners of hi-end vehicles will get their due. This unites the angry mob in a can-do attitude.

Although this may not be an actual verbatim test question provided during the civil service exam, the insight provided here may improve your skill score. As a transit professional, you are required to handle difficult situations quickly and respond to questions without hesitation. While some books on the subject of driving a bus may provide guidance as to how to remain calm in a dense, congested city such as San Francisco, let’s face it, we may not have the patience or time to assume a lotus position and meditate.

When intending passengers become a large mob, it doesn’t bode well for my day. If BART is shut down or our metro tunnel is blocked, large numbers of commuters congregate at our trolley and motor coach surface stops. I need the space in my head to answer questions, and still pull away in a timely fashion. I also have to maintain space at the front of the aisle so I can see out my mirrors and the front door.

I took a cab home the other day, and the cabbie said that on a talk radio show, a regular caller was complaining that our buses run around empty and that funding should be cut. I laughed and said that the reason our buses are empty is because they are being towed back to the shop. Our trolleys are up to twenty years old and “go to sleep,” especially in hot weather.

This caller obviously was a car person who may never have taken mass transit. I can assure the readers that our buses are crowded from morning rush well into the night at 10:00 p.m. Our 22 and 14 lines never really run empty. A safety officer imported from another city commented how amazing he thought it was that our buses were still crowded hours after rush hour. So, seriously then, we need new trolleys, and we need them now!

If I try to use this reasoning with the riding public paying their “fare” share, they usually become angry. They say I am going to make my money regardless of what they do or do not put in the fare box, and they are correct. I just believe it adds to a lawless kind of attitude that doesn’t take personal responsibility. Those who are grateful for our transit system pay their fare and are generally courteous and helpful. Keeping Zen means keeping my side of the street clean and not worrying about what others do.