Sakude!

Sakude su sombrilla de aqua afuera! Please shake the water off your umbrella before entering the coach! A friend and coworker who experienced his first major rainfall wondered if I had any tips to keep the windscreen and mirrors clear. Baby heat in the coach climate control, and baby heat for the cab climate, are key to creating the correct temperature on the glass from hazing. 

The key to preventing fogging is to not let the water in the coach in the first place. Simple, right? But not easy. Asking boarders to shake off the water is challenging because it can quickly start an argument and disrupt concentration in watching for traffic. This begs the question of why anyone would carry an umbrella in San Francisco in the first place. 

Umbrellas, are, for all intents and purpose, useless. Rare is the San Franciscan who can maintain umbrella integrity during a storm and not have the ribs invert in the wind. This is accomplished by not having it open in the first place! Either that or using both hands to hold the umbrella from levitating and taking off. This makes for showing fare or reaching into a pocket for change also impossible. So what do people do? They bring their water logged sombrilla up the steps and into the bus! Did you ever hear of hooded rain jackets or gortex waterproof rain gear? Of course not. This is California and we live in a desert with drought conditions!

Umbrellas can become projectiles to fly into someone else on the street. We see crushed umbrellas on the streets and in the crosswalks. Palm fronds detach to create obstacle courses, and tree limbs drop on parked cars. If not airborne, they also are a hazard simply by walking with them open on any busy sidewalk even if the wind is calm. The tips tap oncoming users, and the different elevations of the holder come into play. One has to pay attention to who is passing on the sidewalk, else the Brock can be launched from your grip.

A business man questioned me on my first umbrella of the day with heavy rain. Are you going to ask everyone boarding to shake their umbrella? Yes, I am. And so on with day, stopping everyone at the steps to shake it. There are the pitiful attempts at holding the umbrella like a dead duck and slowly moving it up and down to no effect. There are those who shake it on the steps, creating a larger water slick than if I had not asked. Finally, there is the dip and twirl, followed by a shake that can win the passenger of the day! 

At some point I have to concede the battle and lose the war. My emotional sobriety behind the wheel takes precedent over the foggy windows and slippery steps. When I pop the brake to dry off the interior windscreen and go outside to wipe the mirrors, this can serve as a guided discovery to the bozos, um, passengers, why bringing water into the bus is not a good idea. 

I wait for the clue from the passengers when it is time to give it a rest.  It is just a matter of time.  A Chinese American woman does not understand English and my request for her to shake her umbrella outside. Hand signs are no avail with the dull cow eyes staring back. After the fifth request with sign language, I let it go. Sure enough, a woman in back, late for work, scolds me to get going and stop harassing the woman.  OK, I’m done. No more umbrella shake requests today. OK, the rain begins to mellow to an intermittent patter.

As fate would have it, the Bird-man gets on at Sixth. He starts crowing like a large pterodactyl. It is very disruptive and annoying. The woman going to work, fearing I’ll take the coach out of service begins to warn the man to stop his chirping. A big grin takes over my face as I see my reflection in the rearview mirror. 

Hey Bird-man, do you like the rain?  I do, he beams back. Do you ever carry and umbrella? I ask. No way. Never! he replies. The whole bus erupts in laughter. The woman going to work gets off at Third with a big smile. Yes! Another victory on the bus! I got to put out one final request to shake the water, and have it end without a negative consequence! Tip of the monsoon: don’t bring the umbrella!