Lost and Found

In my first book, I talk about the amazing synchronicity in returning items to riders on my bus: ranging from the five one hundred dollar bills used as a book mark in an old softcover–to the coin purse of nickels, dimes, and pennies from an overjoyed senior downtown. I have four different versions of pdfs in my training vault about what to do when trying to find out what happens to your phone, a book, or a shopping bag, if left and spaced on the bus after you leave my domain as a bus driver. You can still visit me at: http://www.daoofdoug.com. –and I’ll rotate the different versions of Lost and Found.

This blog, however, is about the ‘lost and found’ of my job which came into my imaginative mind as I awoke on my last day of service at Muni. My retirement was on my birthday on the first Friday of June, 2020, but because of the lockdown of Covid, I was assigned on a part time basis, and didn’t realize that this Tuesday was actually going to be my last day– ‘losing’ my steadfast purpose of 21 and half years of showing up to drive a bus around town to take you to your destination. In that first few moments upon awakening, all those I had touched throughout the years on the 22 Fillmore, 24 Divisadero, and 33 Ashbury came to wish me farewell.

I’ve become a much better writer now that I’ve put together four books about my day as a transit operator, and I pridefully point out how my edits and errors reduced from over one thousand corrections in 2013 Finding Zen book 1, to only seven in book 3, Trolleybus of Happy Destiny, 2018. But with all those hours behind the screen on the keyboard blogging away on weekends after work, I am still stymied and baffled about how to convey the feeling I had on my last day waking up to go to work. I didn’t know it was my last day, though in hindsight, the clues were there.

It was a bright sunny morning this day when I opened my eyes, and I had a strong sense of gratitude and knowing which comes from remembrance of where I was and what I was doing while I was in dream state. I got this incredible burst of love and smiles with visages and voices of those who I intuitively knew were my riders on the bus. These were specific people who had known me on my routine runs, during the day. I could see their invisible hand shake or embrace or smile behind my cockpit and it was if they were saying goodbye like parting with a long time family member or close lifetime friend. It was more of an understanding of love, and I sensed many different souls shining brightly and gently giving me congratulations.

Like so many of my slow honest moments in life, I couldn’t connect the dots of this experience until I checked my detail two days later, and saw I wasn’t going to be assigned work on my last official day of employment. That waking moment returned to my heart as this was the spiritual gift as beautiful and shiny as a gold pocket watch and chain!

The bus driver that brought me my 24 Divisadero bus at Sutter inbound the past week was at her parked car getting something to get ready for a twilight shift on the 24. I paused and opened my coach door before pulling in my last time to the gate to give good cheer like the feeling of going to church to hang the greens for service on Christmas Eve. She was the last coworker to see me on the bus, and unlike my expectation to be greeted at the gate with some imagined ribbon across the gate, no one was at the revenue collection station, and the tower was empty with the signal set for track 12. That’s it. No drum roll, no unusual or special occurrence.

Then it dawned on me as a huge shit eating grin slowly broke over my face as I slowly walked off the property for the last time. My union rep had kept my vice superintendent at bay and prevented a two or three day suspension with an adroit knowledge of the rulebook. I had the support of my union.

There were no bad feelings amongst any of my coworkers, and no bad blood or payback about any past event in memory. I recalled an adage about stand up comedy, “Leave them wanting more.” Or, later, the more sanguine belief:

san·guine /ˈsaNGɡwən / adjective

• 1.optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation: 

“Get out when the getting is good!”

I did it! I got out clean! No more paperwork! And the truism about Muni: No news is good news – and – my favorite, the best surprise is no surprise! (Leave it for Christmas or Birthdays!)

There was a joyful mood at the front doors by the tunnel garage opening with a good sized group of operators chatting merrily away and I paused and smiled, and quietly walked down Geary to my apartment to take off my uniform for the last time.